Loss and learning

Last week I lost another friend.  I met Phyllis about 10 years ago when she moved to Santa Paula and started attending our ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  We were both born in October, she 27 years ahead of me.  It was hard not to be drawn to this woman on first meeting her because she sparkled!!

For some unknown reason she chose to sit by me at church.  Maybe it was as simple as liking to sit on the left side of the building.  Maybe it was as profound as her seeing my need.  I honestly don't know, I do know that sitting by her for an hour each week changed my life.  We didn't talk much, both of us were trying to be reverent in the chapel.  But we shared winks, and smiles, hugs and the occasional quiet chuckle.

Before our services started each week I had the pleasure of hearing her say things such as, "Isn't he the most handsome fellow." "Her hair always looks so nice."  "Don't you just love his ties?"

And after the meetings, "Wasn't that a wonderful message." " What a wonderful young man." "Wasn't that a beautiful song?" "Don't we have the best Bishop."

So what has Phyllis left with me?

• a desire to praise whenever possible
• a wish to look for only the good
• the need to find a new "pew-mate" 
• a hole in my heart

When we first started the portrait project Phyllis was the first person I thought of painting.  She wasn't feeling well at the time, but said she would sit when she felt better.  I never got the chance to paint her, so for now I framed the photo of her from her memorial service and tucked it on the shelf of my window seat. When I have a concern I can ask myself, "What would Phyllis do?"

And the answer will always be, she would smile, laugh, and make whoever she was with "feel like a million bucks."

So if there is paint in the eternities I look forward to painting a portrait of Phyllis, and if there are pews, I hope she saves me a seat!